Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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