I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Randomize
