You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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