That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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