I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
