am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
