He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
