absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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