I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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