Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
