I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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