I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize