I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i will never coherently bang her
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
