She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Randomize
