You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
