I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
