we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
