New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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