Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
