its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
