I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
