The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
