That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize