There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
