I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
