It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
