Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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