I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
