Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
It was like getting head from an anaconda
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Randomize
