I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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