Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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