I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Randomize
