I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
