it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize
