cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
