its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
