Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
