We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
