You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I understand Curling. That high.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
