It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
