Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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