I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
