I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
