Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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