i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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