Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
