the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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