I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
high people should be assigned attendants
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
