The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
