Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I woke up under a house in Key West
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