You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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