Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I'm just crazy horny about you
That accounts for only three of the penises
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
