i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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