hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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