Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize