I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Randomize
