Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
