it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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