If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Randomize
