office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
