Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
